a spirit not of fear

Hello, everyone!

I'm not going to lie. This past week was a really, really hard one. The honeymoon phase of being in Russia is over, I think. I miss some things from home...like my family, my friends, warm weather, Mitzi & Genevieve, sweet tea, Mexican food, the ability to buy contact solution on my own...

However, I did make some sweet tea this weekend. That helped. Also, Mom sent me a picture of Genevieve, taken by her fancy new camera (see above). Isn't she cute? Her ears look like they've gotten bigger since I've been gone...

I still love Russia (don't worry), and I am glad I am here. Russia is a gift, and this is something I have wanted for a long time. I know that God has put me here.

And I am thankful for Skype. I got to talk to my mom and sister on Skype this weekend. Oh, and I got to see my nephew who said "wuv you" and blew kisses through the webcam. So that was pretty cool. He's getting so chatty now.

My laptop still acts up. My cord, you know, broke, and I had to get a new one here. I have to tilt my laptop at a 45 degree angle for the new cord to work. So, that's pretty annoying. If my computer broke, I don't know what I'd do. It is my only connection to home, the only way I can talk to people. It's unbelievable how dependent on technology I am.

It's great living with a family here, but it's just as hard to adjust to living with a different family as it is adjusting to a new culture. The family here makes different food than what I am used to...like pea soup, lentil soup, pumpkin soup, etc. It's not bad. We just eat a ton of soup. There are other differences too, but every family is different. It's not a bad thing. It's just the way things are.

The verses that have helped me this past week are:

"God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control." II Tim. 1:7

Lamentations 3:22-33

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I will hope in him."

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him;
let him put his mouth in the dust --
there may yet be hope;
let him give his cheeks to the one who strokes,
and let him be filled with insults.

For the Lord will not cast off forever,
but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men.

---

One of my 7th grade boys said the funniest thing on Friday. I asked him if he had any fun and exciting plans for the weekend, and he said no. Then he paused and said, "Well, I did get a new microscope this week. I'm going to collect a few samples." I laughed and asked him what he was going to do with the samples. "You know, look at them and stuff." How often do you hear that? Today I asked him what he chose for his samples, and he said his hair and cuticles.

I hate organizing trips, but it seems that's the only way I am going to go anywhere. Kazan was easy-breezy because I just had to pay my part and play follow the leader. It would have been that way for Kiev, but Gail and Laura have decided to go to Turkey instead. As much as I'd love to go to Turkey, I'd rather go to Ukraine. So, Andrea and I are hoping to go to Kiev (and we're going to see if we can go to Chernobyl too) for the last week of April. And maybe Tim & Beth will be able to join us, but we're not sure. For spring break, Andrea and I are going to St. Petersburg. If I can figure everything out, that is.

I can't believe that I only have two more weeks of full-time teaching. After that is spring break, and then I give up the 6th grade class. The week after that I give up another class, and so forth. I can't believe how fast this semester has gone.

Where does the time go?

The weather is finally changing. It hasn't been too cold. It's usually just above or below freezing. Everyone has been saying, "It's so warm." Spring is coming. The snow is beginning to melt. Large pools of water are forming on the sidewalks, and people have to balance themselves on bridges of icy slush to cross over. If the snow is not melting, it is being toted away in giant trucks. Green grass is beginning to show. It's unbelievable that under all that snow, the grass is still green.

It snowed all day today, but it is not sticking to the pavement like it usually does. Spring really is here. Everyone is excited, but I'm not. I feel like I am saying goodbye to a part of Russia I won't see again, and it makes me sad.

Tonight we had girls' night at Christiana's apartment. Afterward Gail and I went home together on the metro since we live about a couple of blocks apart. On the metro a girl was staring at us. Russians stare at people in general. It's not considered bad etiquette to look at someone's face for a full minute and then scan them up and down. So, this girl was normal in that sense. Suddenly though she asked, "Where are you guys from?" And so she turned out to be American after all.

Within ten minutes I found out a lot about this girl. Her name is Courtney. She is studying Russian at Moscow International University. She also teaches English (as a 2nd language) as well. She is here for the same time I am -- January to May. She's an international communications major at American University in D.C., but she is from Manhattan Island. She said she is used to big cities, so Moscow feels like home to her. She asked me what I thought the most difficult thing to adjust to in Moscow was, and I said the language barrier. (That's kinda a duh answer on my part, but oh well.) She wanted to know if I had Facebook and if I would be interested in Russian lessons. I told her that I was already taking Russian lessons, but thanks. I felt bad. I hate turning people down. And I should have said that she could find me on Facebook anyway. She seemed like a cool girl, and I could use another American friend to sight-see with while I'm here. I should have kept talking to her and not rushed off. I should have taken more time with her.

After that I went to a little corner store to pick up a few things. I wanted to break a 500, but most Russian stores ask you for exact change. In fact, every now and then you'll come across a store that only accepts exact change. Well, this lady asked me for exact change. I mean, I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that's what she was asking. That's the only thing they will ask you. I didn't want to pay exact change even though I could have. She saw my change in my wallet too which was my mistake. I decided to play dumb American though, and I told her I didn't understand and that I only spoke English. What I said was true because I didn't exactly understand everything she was saying. Anyway, she pulls out two 10s and points to them and says in English, "FIVE." Now that was funny to me because that didn't make things any clearer, but it got funnier. The woman pointed to my wallet for me to give it to her. In my mind I just thought, "Are you insane??? I may not speak Russian, but I am not stupid." There was no way on God's green earth I would ever hand my wallet over to her just because she wanted exact change. No way. Absolutely not. I give you 500. You give me change. You give me my stuff. End of transaction. I stood my ground, and she finally gave up and gave me my change. I think she thought it was funny too because I saw her smile. So, hopefully I didn't ruin the reputation of America...as if it weren't already ruined. She probably just thinks Americans are idiots, but I'm okay with that.

Well, this post doesn't have many pictures. I need to take more pictures of all the dirty snow. Seriously, it is naaassstty. You know how I said snow and vodka sum up Russia? I need to add dog poop and cigarettes to that list too...because that's what is covering the ground these days.

Well, I miss and love you all. Enjoy your 70 degree weather. I am conflicted. I want a Georgia spring, but I don't want the snow to go away. Why can't it snow when it's warm? I hope that in heaven it snows when it's 70 degrees outside. :)

Much Love,
Meredith